Helping a nervous child at the dentist

Written and clinically reviewed by Dr. Andrew Korcek, DDS, FAGD  ·  Korcek Dental, Minden, Nevada

The words that backfire

• •"It will not hurt." The child had not considered hurt until you said it.
• •"Be brave." Implies there is something to be brave about.
• •"They are going to pull it out." Do not narrate treatment you are not qualified to predict.
• •"If you do not brush, the dentist will drill your teeth." Using the dentist as a threat is extremely common and it produces exactly the adult patients who avoid care for twenty years.

Better: "The dentist is going to count your teeth and take some pictures of them." Factual, accurate, and unthreatening.

Practical preparation

• •Book a morning appointment before a child is tired
• •Read a picture book about visiting the dentist a few days beforehand
• •Let them bring a comfort object
• •Avoid promising a reward for good behaviour, which frames the visit as an ordeal to be endured
• •Tell us when you book that your child is nervous

Once you are in the room

The hardest instruction for parents: let the dental team lead. Stepping in to reassure mid-procedure usually interrupts the rhythm the clinician has established and signals to the child that something is wrong.

Sit where your child can see you. Stay calm, because children read adult body language far more accurately than adult words.

A note on age

We welcome patients of all ages. For very young children under three we generally recommend a pediatric dentist for their first visit, simply because that setting is purpose-built for it. We are happy to advise either way.